May 052013
 

Let’s face it: There are plenty of good men out there and some women are blessed to be married to some of them! But do you really treat that good husband the way he deserves to be treated? PLEASE tell me you are not neglecting the very man you should be honoring and loving! There are plenty of ways you can show him special treatment, some are no-brainers and some you can feel free to use your imagination. Here are 10 of the ways that I’ve decided to share with you (and in no particular order). Read on….

1. Respect him. How do you speak to this good husband of yours? I’m sure you can be nice, but what about when you’re angry? Do you speak to him like a dog then? What about when you are frustrated with him? Do you emasculate him? Do you yell at him? Do you look lustfully at other men? Make inappropriate comments about other men? Do you boss him around? Do you talk to him like he’s a child? If you do any of the above, STOP IT immediately, especially if he’s a good man and deserving of better! Speak to him with love and affection, with kindness and gentleness. Honor him. Lace your speech with endearments from time to time (“honey,” “baby,” “papi,” “love”–you get the picture).

2. Support his dreams. If your man wanted to be a deep sea diver and the bills are behind, that is no reason to cut him down. Or, if your man wants to own his own business and he’s already failed at 7 other businesses, don’t rain on his parade. You’ll never know what will bring him joy and fulfillment, you’ll never know what will work and not work if you don’t support him. Your job as a wife is to uplift him, encourage him. So, even if it doesn’t make sense to you, find a way to support him that makes sense. Suggest to him that being a deep sea diver is an excellent endeavor to pursue once the bills are caught up (who knows? He may be on to another idea by then anyway). Or, suggest he review what went wrong with other business ventures so that he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, then suggest he get a mentor who can show him how to be successful in entrepreneurship. The key here is to remain POSITIVE. Nobody likes a killjoy.

3. Give him his space. Love, attention, and affection are good, but let the man breathe! He had stuff to do before you, and I’m sure he still needs or likes to do some of that stuff. You WANT him to work. You WANT him to have good friends. You WANT him to look after or check on his extended family members. You WANT him to be HIMSELF. So, let him have the space it takes to do that. I can honestly say that I have never come across a man, good or otherwise, that did not need some down time to himself. And, just because he doesn’t want to be up under you 24/7/365 doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or want you. It may just mean that he still loves and wants HIMSELF. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that! Which is a nice segue into my next point…

4. Gitcho life! Do SOMETHING! When you have your OWN thing going on, you don’t have time to bothered with being up under him all the time. Give him a reason to be proud of you, to admire you, to fall in love with you over and over again. And one way that can be done is by continuing to grow and develop YOU. If he’s still growing and changing, you need to be growing and changing right along with him. So develop a talent, learn a new skill, join a book club, learn to play the piano, take up a new hobby, join a gym—SOMETHING to improve YOURSELF. Trust me, it’ll be soooo worth it.

5. Be his buddy. Now this can be tricky. Take interest in some of the things he enjoys, without being up under him all the time. If he likes sports, watch a game with him every now and then (but try to be into it and don’t distract him from it).  If he’s a prankster, do a practical joke or two on him every now and then. The goal is to have fun with him doing a few things that he likes and wouldn’t mind enjoying with you.

6. Cook for him. Kudos to the women that always cook for their men! That ain’t me. In fact, I can’t stand cooking, but I do cook sometimes. Why? Because I feel it’s a nice treat for my husband and our kids. It’s just a way of being traditional, pampering my husband, and feeding our kids all at the same time. And, I think it’s just something about a woman in the kitchen that just turns men on. What do you think?

7. Do the unexpected. Men like variety. Variety IS said to be the spice of life, so keep it spicy! Shake things up sometimes! If you have to cook, serve the meal a different way–make it special, make it fun. If you are always in stilettos, try walking around barefooted and showing him your pretty legs. Tackle him to the ground, then give him a full body massage. Do SOMETHING DIFFERENT! The same ol’ same ol’ gets old.

 8. Get freaky. Okay. Yes, I’m talking about sex. I said it. He’s your husband, so you CAN do that! The missionary position is just one position in an entire arsenal of sexual positions—and it’s the tired one. Explore more with your HUSBAND. Remember, you’re going to do the unexpected? Well here you go! Learn a couple of new positions (they have books [not porn] that will teach you) then spring them on him. I don’t care if you’ve been married for 20 years! As long as you two are still breathing you can get your freak on and explore each other in ways you never have before! Now git busy! (Pun intended.)

9. Love his children. If you happen to have birthed all of his children, then great! No problem here. But, if not, you’d better learn to love those little buggers if you don’t already. Love them, care for them, speak to them with kindness. Help them, encourage them, play with them. Whatever is needed. Treat them as though they are children from your very body. After all, they ARE part of a body that you simply adore…right?

10. Keep the castle stable. Yeah, I said to shake things up a bit, but there is an art to shaking things up without letting anything fall over. You feel me? So keeping the castle stable includes helping to make sure no utility service gets disconnected or turned off and if it does, help to get the situation rectified. Helping to keep the castle stable also means ensuring a clean, safe, and peaceful environment. Your home should be a comfortable, safe haven. It should not be a place where if DSS or child protective services walk in they would want to remove your children immediately. It should not be a place where either you or your husband leaves the war zone at work only to come home to another war zone. So, no arguing, no fussing, no fighting. The Holy Bible teaches us that it’s best to be alone than to live with all that arguing. (See Proverbs 25:24)  Help to make sure there’s enough food in the house, folks have clean clothes, and pets are fed. Provide moral support to the family and encourage family time. Work to strengthen the bond within your family and endeavor to be the glue that holds it all together.

I hope this helps!

Your WifeStyle Coach,

The WifeStyle CoachJoy C. Daniels | Author | The WifeStyle Coach | Entrepreneur

P.S. If you want more tips on how to get yourself together and live a more virtuous life, get my book: Grown & Virtuous: 28 Simple Lessons to Unveil the Spiritual Diva In You

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P.P.P.S. Let me hear from you! If you like this article, click like or share it! And be sure to leave me a comment below! ~J.