It took forever for me to have an inkling as to what my purpose was. I had figured out that I liked being a sounding board, and helping women figure their relationship stuff out, but that was about it. At one crucial point in my life I had strongly considered getting a degree in counseling, but I allowed myself to be talked out of it by one simple phrase: “You won’t make any money in counseling.”
And so there it was.
My purpose was derailed by the thought of me not being able to live comfortably doing what I believed I would love to do. That was a very stupid decision that I made…not to pursue what I know I would have absolutely loved. But that is neither here nor there….
Now, I’m into the full swing of “life”, and while I know now what my purpose is, I have not fully realized the exact direction I am to take, most likely because I have blocks to this discovery. And I know other women seemingly have blocks to discovering their purpose, or their direction, too.
Block #1: Busyness. Sometimes, when we’re busy with housework, soccer practice, basketball practice, running errands, homework, work work, we are just too busy at the end of the day to even be open to what else we are destined to do with our lives. When I have gotten too busy, and finally realize I’ve been too busy, I usually plan a “Joy Day,” a day all to myself to breathe and figure stuff out.
Block #2: Depression. When you have an overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom, of hopelessness, when you lose interest in life, there is an obvious block to discovering your purpose. When I was depressed, I had to get help. I couldn’t see my life as it really was. I couldn’t fully appreciate the good that I had. I was stuck. It wasn’t until I became unstuck and I released the depression that I was able to connect with my purpose.
Block #3: Mental stress and fatigue. With all you have to think about, especially if you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you may not even have the mental energy to take the soul journey on the path of discovering your purpose. You most likely are in survival mode…when you’re not asleep. Some things that have helped me when I am low on mental energy, aside from getting much needed rest, is meditation, pampering, exercising, and journaling.
Block #4: Distractions. Working in the wrong field, being with the wrong person in the wrong relationship, being with the right person in the right relationship at the wrong time, not being in a relationship at all and obsessing about it, family drama, friend drama, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama, etc. There are so many distractions! When I’ve had my share of distractions, I’ve had to do my best to simplify my life but cutting out what I didn’t need and getting rid of as much negativity as possible. I also had to remind myself of what was my business and what wasn’t, and to mind only my business and let others take care of their own business.
Block #5: Supressing your gifts and talents. When you don’t do what you’re good at, when you don’t share your gifts and talents, when you don’t give of yourself in this way, your purpose may elude you because you are not connecting with it, living it, expressing it. I can tell when I don’t share enough; I start to feel stagnant and lost. And when this happens, I usually figure out what I want to share then blog about it, or answer emails about life and love and relationships.
Block #6: Focusing on money. When you connect with your purpose, in some way, you will end up serving others. You may share your talent which will cheer someone up, you may find the cure to a disease, you may teach a gazillion kids…whatever it is, you will be fulfilled. When you focus on money, your focus is not on service and while you may experience some level of happiness, you most likely will not be fulfilled. When I made money a strong consideration as mentioned before, I threw myself off course…and I wasn’t fulfilled. Now that I’m getting back on track, I get so elated when I am able to help someone figure her stuff out. I have now learned: go with what brings you joy.
Block #7: Bad advice. Listening to people who don’t have a clue will keep you from discovering your purpose. Many times people will give you advice based on what works for their lives instead of what may work for yours. Other times, people may give you advice based on what they THINK they know about your goals, dreams, aspirations, and life. I had not realized that I had gotten bad advice until a couple of years and thousands of dollars later. Now I know to do the research myself, consult others who are knowledgeable, and pray about it.
I hope this helps you on your journey of discovering your purpose. Hopefully you will be able to identify what may be blocking you and how to get past those blocks. And when all else fails, remember, prayer changes things.
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