You’re upset. You’re hurt. You’re angry and annoyed. Heck…you’re downright furious…livid even. And you act like it; yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs…acting like a crazy woman. You argue back, interrupt and interject. You got your finger pointing, spit flying, neck rolling…. You aren’t even making any sense. Or, you’re crying hysterically because…he left. Or he cheated. Same thing. Snot leaking down to your top lip, you think you’ll never love again, or be made a fool of again, or give it up so easily again. You start to eat–or stop eating completely. You sleep all the time–or don’t sleep at all. You don’t know if you are coming or going.
I was lying in bed this morning, going through Bible Plans on my phone, and stumbled upon the Serenity Plan. I’ve always liked that word…serenity. So my interest was piqued and I started reading ahead and got to day 4. Day 4 encourages self-reflection and self-inventory. It encourages you to be painfully honest with yourself about yourself; it encourages you to admit what has hurt you deeply and also to admit what you did to hurt others so that you can eventually get to a place of healing and restoration.
Most people, myself included, will quickly say that they “are fine” and “all is well” when that’s clearly not the case. At times I watch people and their lives, or I listen to them and read between the lines. And, of course, I reflect on my own self and my life, and I’ve come to notice that
your life will tell on you.
When you are not being honest with yourself about how you feel/felt about some things and how these things affect(ed) you, eventually, your life will tell on you. Whether it was something or someone from your childhood that deeply hurt you or something or someone later in life, if you don’t admit it and deal with it, it will have it’s way with your life. I’ve noticed these 3 ways that your life will tell on you:
- You won’t be mentally “with it.” If you spend day in and day out thinking about the situation, person(s), or events, without constructively dealing with it, you literally may be at risk for developing mental issues such as forgetfulness, confusion, disorientation, losing gaps of time, impaired decision making, having difficulty focusing or paying attention, or more serious issues like clinical depression (I know about this one) or other mental issues. Imagine how this can affect your relationships, your job, etc.
- Your life will show how you treat people. If you abuse (mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, verbally) the people closest to you, or ignore or neglect the people closest to you, this is one way your life is telling on you. Your heart is displaying its pain and you are taking it out on those around you. Now, not only can people see your pain, you are causing them to feel it too. And you may even start to lose these people who cared the most about you.
- Your life (or at least one area) will seem to stop going forward and may even go in reverse. If you look at your life 5 years ago and compare it to today, and you are in the same point in your life, or a worse position in your life, you just may have a few unresolved issues you need to deal with. Growth can stop in any area of your life, but I’ve noticed that many times the areas that are affected the most are 1) financial areas and 2) romantic relationships. If your money matters (income, bank balance, job/career, housing, transportation, credit, etc.) seem to be taking a hit and you have trouble staying above water, you may have a few deep-rooted issues you need to deal with. Or, if you’ve been longing for that perfect mate and you keep thinking that each one IS THE ONE, but they aren’t, or if you can’t ever seem to “click,” “fit,” or “get on the same page,” with anyone, you may have some deep-seated issues you need to deal with, especially if each person you are with has the same or similar complaints about you or has the same or similar experiences with you (and you with them).
I’m not saying that everyone’s life should be perfect and that no one should experience setbacks. What I’m saying is when you look at your life both subjectively and objectively over a period of time, the quality of your life will reflect how you’re doing. And regardless of what your life looks like today, just know that if you go ahead and deal with your “stuff” at the deepest levels, you can be healed and restored and your life will eventually tell a completely different story about you soon enough.
All the best,
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Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t even see straight? Or so sick you couldn’t think about getting well? Or so upset and crying everywhere, eyes bloodshot and slobber all over the place? Or so heartbroken that you can’t even eat, sleep, work, or get out of bed? Those are the times most often when people will say, “Girl, just pray about it.” And that’s great advice, but you CAN’T just pray about it.
It’s not that simple. I know…I visited that place way too many times. Pray? I couldn’t even think straight. I’ve noticed three things about myself when I can’t even pray: 1) I’m all “in my feelings,” 2) I’m so incredibly focused on the problem, and 3) my body starts acting up: either I have aches and pains, or I gain or lose weight.
So, what do I do then?
First, I learned to ask people I loved and trusted to pray for me. I knew that I needed it, but I wasn’t at the place to even focus on God enough to go to Him. Whatever my issue was, I felt it was swallowing me up.
Then, when I grew a little, just a little, I learned that sometimes just crying out to God was enough. So in anger or anguish, I would repeat, “Lord, Lord!”
That was the beginning.
Once I had that breakthrough of crying out to Him, during later trying times I learned that reading the Bible helps. I read Bible plans specific to whatever situation I’m going through. I have the Bible app called “YouVersion” on my phone and it has been an absolute Godsend. It has several different Bible plans specific to whatever situation I may be in. It’s really helped me get through my latest trial.
Finally, I learned to pray after reading that particular day of the Bible plan and now, most of the time, I can pray whenever I need to. But it took years to get to this place. It was by no means a quick process. And I have discovered why this has been such a challenging process for me: because while I did pray and I did study, I didn’t do it consistently enough to sustain me during times of crisis. I kept God close when it was convenient for me, so when I felt like I needed Him, I couldn’t find Him. Now I’m aware that I need Him all the time and I do my best not to take Him or my relationship with Him for granted. There were times when I had paid more consistent attention to a man, a job, making money, doing my hair, cleaning my house, gossiping, and having fun than I paid God. That’s ridiculous. And when I needed Him, although He was right there, I couldn’t find Him, and that was my fault.
So while I know well how you may not be able to pray sometimes, I encourage you to grow to the point where you are consistent with Him and can commune with Him during good times AND bad. (I’m still working on this, too.) Let’s strive to be aware of His presence in our lives all the time and get to the point where we welcome His will in every area, because He truly loves us the most and wants the very best for us.
Let’s learn to get out of “our feelings” no matter what is going on and go to the Source of all things good and the Solution of all our problems. I’ll be praying for you and with you….
Love & prayers,
Here are some scriptures that may help:
**”Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22 [NIV]
**”Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 [NIV]
**”And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 [NLT]
**”That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 [NLT]
Welcome to The 29-Day Love Challenge! If we were asked if we love ourselves, so many of us would say, with attitude, “Of course I love myself! What’s wrong with you?” But then far too many of us live day to day as if we don’t. So, since February is known for being the month of love, I challenge you to show love everyday, that’s ev-er-ree day, for the full 29 days in this February! Can you do it? Are you in?Continue Reading