Some people confuse being alone with being lonely. I can assure you; it’s quite different. I, for instance, am divorced, unattached, single…alone…at least in the sense of being in a relationship. However, I am NOT lonely. Lonely is when someone has a degree of depression or despair about not being in a relationship. So, that’s not me. Not only am I NOT lonely, I consider myself “flying solo.” Solo, because I am alone, single. And “flying” because I am soaring and not even the sky is the limit.
During one of the many times I ponder things, I wondered why—how—so many people become stuck in their lives,
never seeming to move forward, never seeming to get ahead…me included. Then I took a closer look at myself—something I try to do often. And here is what I have come up with. It basically boils down to these three things:
- Too many of us are stuck because we are too scared to leave our comfort zone. We are too scared to try something new: a new job, friend, man, car, house, city, profession, food, doctor, fitness routine, business…whatever. So we operate within a self-imposed bubble, hoping, wishing, and praying that our relief, miracle, or success will come to us, within the safety and ease of our tight bubble. I had to picture it like this: I’m surrounded by what’s familiar, what’s comfortable—physically, mentally, [Read more…]
Nowadays, there are too many of us good women confusing a man with a good man…and we are settling. Why? Is it that we don’t know what a good man is? Is it that we don’t know what a good man does? Or how a good man would treat us? Is it that we think we can’t do better or deserve better? Is it that we want to save a man? Or change him? Or wait it out until he changes? Ladies, we DO deserve better. We DON’T have to settle. We CAN’T save a man. We CAN’T change a man. And as my granddaddy use to say, “You can’t make a race horse out of a jackass.”
So, with that being said, I have learned from experience that there are a few things a good man won’t do. Now, when I say a “good” man, I simply mean a man with a good heart and good intentions. Here are a few of the things that I have noticed that a good man won’t do: [Read more…]
We often get angry when someone lies to us, or about us. But what about our own lies? What about the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves? I’m not talking about affirmations or “speaking things that are not as if they were.” I’m talking about telling untruths not only about our past or our present, about our lives, about our character, but about how we feel about our past or present. And then when the lies aren’t enough, we give ourselves an alibi, an excuse for staying the way we are. We would rather run from the pain (by lying and alibiing) about who we are and what we’ve been through, and how we feel about it, not realizing that it’s in facing the painful truth that ultimately can free us from our pain and enable our healing. [Read more…]
Just as like attracts like, broke attracts broke. It’s just an alternate way to look at the Law of Attraction. Whether it be emotional brokenness, financial brokenness, or any other kind of brokenness, broke attracts broke. That’s just how nature works.
And I think it’s kind of interesting how it works in relationships…and it may not manifest the way you would think it would. Take me for instance: I had had abandonment issues from childhood. I felt (the way you perceive and believe things as a child has the strong likelihood of shaping your future) abandoned by my biological father AND my adoptive father. A double whammy! My biological father was not available to me physically or emotionally and my adoptive father was not available to me emotionally. Can you imagine what that can do to a little girl?
So, fast forward through the years, I had unresolved issues that began to surface. [Read more…]