We often get angry when someone lies to us, or about us. But what about our own lies? What about the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves? I’m not talking about affirmations or “speaking things that are not as if they were.” I’m talking about telling untruths not only about our past or our present, about our lives, about our character, but about how we feel about our past or present. And then when the lies aren’t enough, we give ourselves an alibi, an excuse for staying the way we are. We would rather run from the pain (by lying and alibiing) about who we are and what we’ve been through, and how we feel about it, not realizing that it’s in facing the painful truth that ultimately can free us from our pain and enable our healing.
Okay, but you may not be ready for all that. So…let’s try it this way: let’s revisit the whole thing about people lying to
us. We get all mad—furious even. How dare they? We are lied to in some of our relationships, on the job, at the store, by a stranger who said they like our shoes…but we know they are just “hatin’.” Then there are the lies of omission–you know, the lies that exist but were never spoken, little facts conveniently left out. And we get disgusted by all of this and the b.s. that comes with it.
But guess what? More often than not, we have attracted this! How? Well, you’ve heard of “reaping what you sow?” You’ve heard of “karma?” You’ve heard of “what goes around comes around?” And “the law of attraction?” Yeah. If you sow a lie, even about yourself to yourself, you will reap a lie. If you send a lie around (giving people a false impression of who you really are and what you’re about), that lie will come back around (you will be exposed). If you lie to people or give them a bunch of excuses, you will attract liars, and maybe liars with excuses. Lies & alibis.
So, what’s the takeaway? Well, I could have gone deeper, but too many people aren’t ready for that, so the takeaway is this: IT ALL STARTS AND ENDS WITH YOU. If you don’t like being lied to, stop the lies & alibis. Stop lying to yourself and stop giving yourself excuses. Take full responsibility for who you are and what you’ve done and resolve to do better. Stop lying to other people, on other people, and for other people. And for Pete’s sake, stop alibiing other people. Let other people (your men, for example) take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions and stop making excuses for them. Refuse the lies. Refuse the alibis. Once you take a stand for truth, you’ll get to the point where that’s mostly what you will attract.
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