Ladies, I woke up with this weighing heavily on my mind and I just had to put this out there. When it comes to listening to foolishness, we gots to be mo’ careful. I’m going to warn you now that this post will not be completely grammatically correct, so for those who just cannot deal with it, I will not be offended if you choose to miss this message…that may be meant for you.
We have got to stop being so gotdaggum stupid! There. I said it. And I know you may not agree, but it’s true. So, he gets you the first time…yeah, you got got. It happens…to all of us. But then again? And again? And again? Whoever said “follow your heart” gave the worst advice EVER and we keep listening to it!
The Bible says, “The heart is deceitful above all things….” Jeremiah 17:9 [NIV] and we wanna keep listening to our heart. We fall in love and wanna listen to our heart. “Follow your heart,” some of our friends tell us. And like Booboo the Fool, we do it. And end up hurt. We better stop following our heart and start following Jesus! What did He say? Did He say that man was right? Did He say what we’re doing with him is right? Did He say the timing is right? Hmph.
So we keep following our heart and skipping merrily down Stupid Lane. We scream we have standards, but end up with a no-working, can’t-pay-a-bill, car-wreckin’, cheatin’, verbally abusive, no-child-support-payin’, won’t-wash-a-car-or-do-yardwork, eatin’-up-all-the-food, stinky toes, couch potato and act like we have hit the jackpot because we don’t want to be alone and because he SAID and/or acted like he was in love. Oh, yeah. He may be in love…with himself. And guess who is his meal ticket, work horse, and surrogate mama rolled all-in-one with the negligee on after her hard day’s work? Uh huh.
Now let’s get down to it.
If he says, “I love you,” but cheats on you…repeatedly, doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, doesn’t want to be intimate with you (and intimacy is NOT the same thing as sex), DON’T believe him.
If he says, “No, I don’t love you,” or “You’re not my lady,” but buys you flowers, spends time with you, takes you out to eat, laughs and jokes with you, BELIEVE him.
I’m soooo not a negative person, but I have learned, the hard way, that when a man’s lips don’t match his actions, believe whatever is the negative. I have learned that I need to go with what I don’t want to believe. In EVERY case where what the man said did not match up with what he did, it was the negative that was the truth.
A true “I love you,” ABSOLUTELY MUST have proof…and the proof is in the actions. LOVE SHOWS. Love isn’t hidden under a bushel. Love isn’t whispered only after the most insanely intense orgasm…that HE has. Love isn’t lurking in the shadows behind the tree where his wife can’t see, love isn’t burrowing a hole on your sofa and eating up all yo’ food, love doesn’t watch you break YO’ back to make ends meet while stockpiling money at the bank. LOVE SHOWS. Love says, “Baby, can I help you?” Love says, “Baby, let me rub your feet.” Love says, “I got dinner AND the dishes tonight.” Love says every night, “I’m coming home.” Love says, “I’m here WITH you,” when someone close to you dies. Love says, “I got you,” and really has you. Love shouts responsibility and protection. And then, love truthfully says, “I love you” and is visually loud and is not a figment of our heart’s imagination.
Say no to the confusion. Now that we KNOW, we’ve got to be smarter when it comes to love; no more trips down Stupid Lane. We’ve got to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and wait for LOVE. Love WILL come…when we’re ready.
All my love,
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