The best marriages exist in an atmosphere of unconditional willingness; willingness to grow, to change, to compromise, to experience, to see the other’s point of view. The antithesis, then, is unwillingness which threatens the survivability of marriage. Serial killers of marriage are therefore, simply “I won’t…I can’t…I’m not going to…I don’t…NO” repeated over and over again in response to a positive suggestion to anything that will help build or repair the marriage.
I can speak quite frankly about marriage, separation, AND divorce. At this point, through God’s grace and mercy, I am doggone near an expert! So, believe me when I tell you, if you use any one of the serial killers of marriage in several repeated responses to positive solutions, you may be slowly, or quickly, killing your marriage.
See where YOU stand…take this short quiz and score yourself at the bottom to see if you have an unwilling attitude that could kill your marriage (be honest):
1. Would you be willing to go to marriage counseling, and COMPLETE it, if it meant saving your marriage?
2. Would you be willing to go to a couples retreat to improve your marriage?
3. Would you be willing to go to individual counseling if it meant saving your marriage?
4. Would you be willing to complete a home-study marriage program if it meant saving your marriage?
5. Would you be willing to read a whole book on how to improve your marriage?
6. Would you be willing to pray with your spouse?
7. Would you be willing to worship with your spouse?
8. Would you be willing to compromise about any big problem with your spouse?
9. Would you be willing to put your spouse’s needs above your own in order to save your marriage?
10. Would you be willing to IMPLEMENT any of the above solutions (i.e., use your new marital skills) in order to improve or repair your marriage?
0-2 negative responses = You’re doing pretty well and are on the right track.
3-4 negative responses = Not too bad, but be careful not to get into the habit of being disagreeable or developing a “my way or the highway” attitude.
5-7 negative responses = You just may have a “my way or the highway attitude” and if so, it most likely is not working for your marriage.
8-10 negative responses = You just may be killing your marriage.
“…But let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2 [NLT]
Don’t let stubbornness rob you of the joy and fulfillment you were meant to have with your spouse.
“But my people would not listen to me. They kept doing whatever they wanted, following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts. They went backward instead of forward.” Jeremiah 7:24 [NLT]
Don’t let your stubbornness cause you to go backwards in your marriage. Go too far back and you may end up divorced.
“I can guarantee again that if two of you agree on anything here on earth, my Father in heaven will accept it.” Matthew 18:19 [GWT]
Come together and find a way to agree! Stop using the serial killers of marriage. Don’t be stubborn; instead be willing to actually do the hard work to grow TOGETHER, change TOGETHER, BE TOGETHER. Go to God together in prayer and let Him help you work it out…before it’s too late.
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