Okay, ladies, we are too old to still be falling for the okey doke. Which okey doke? The one when you fall for what someone says, which is completely contrary to what they do. Specifically, when your man whispers in your ear, “Baby, you know I love you.” Then he cusses you out when you ask him about a woman’s phone number in his pocket when he was supposed to be at his momma’s house. Cognitively, we KNOW this is not love–to be lied to and cheated on. But because he said THOSE words–“I love you”–we are willing to tolerate just about anything because of how THOSE words made us FEEL. Our heart tells us he loves us, but his actions are screaming that he doesn’t.
Now, why do we keep falling for the okey doke? Why do we keep falling for the abuse and misuse of those three words–“I love you”? Because we WANT to believe what we are told. We WANT to believe that we are loved and cherished. We want to be desired and validated. So we let our deceiving heart deceive us. (Refer to Jeremiah 17:9) This is why we cannot trust our hearts. Our hearts will give us the warm and fuzzies and we will swear that “this is right.” No, this is NEEDY and a needy heart needs to be healed. Until it is healed, it should to be led by the mind, which hopefully will use more common sense. (Refer to Proverbs 28:26).
And, remember, you want a man sent by God. There is NO WAY you can fall for those three words (uttered strategically during sex or when you’re in a good mood) when you are submitting to God’s will. God doesn’t deal in the okey doke! God doesn’t deal in the fake! God doesn’t deal in manipulation, and that’s just how some men use those three words: to manipulate and control you, to influence you to do things you wouldn’t do if you were using good old-fashioned common sense. Or, better yet, if you were led by the Spirit, instead of your ego, you would recognize love when you see it.
A man’s actions should go along with what his mouth says. If his mouth and his actions don’t agree, this is an example of being double-minded. The Holy Bible tell us that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (refer to James 1:8). And when it comes to godly love, what are you going to do with an unstable man when he hasn’t even let God work with him yet? And, what are YOU gonna do that God can’t do?
We know EXACTLY what love is:
“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end….” –1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (GWT)
So when a man tells you he loves you, it should LOOK like the above scripture. His ACTIONS should match what the scripture says.
Love isn’t going to snatch something from you, roll its eyes at you, throw your past in your face, lie to you, cheat on you, ignore you, curse you, get tired of you, play tit-for-tat with you, get aggravated with you, snap at you, abuse you, neglect you, degrade you, oppress you, or give up on you. And neither will this man, IF he loves you.
Keep your eyes and ears open and pray to see what God is showing you.
Here’s a similar blog post that you may like: The Secret Formula