We have all heard someone teach on the topic of forgiveness, and we know all about it, yada yada yada. And yet, we still do not consistently practice it. Let me see if I can place it in a different light.
When you forgive someone, you may still hold them responsible for the offense, however, you stop holding the offense against them, i.e. you stop beating them up for it either directly or indirectly. Now, you may file the offense away in your mental rolodex (as you probably should so that you will remember what/who you’re dealing with), but you learn from the experience and release yourself from any anger or vengeance associated with the offense. This is forgiveness.
You see, NO ONE is perfect. Take that to heart: NO ONE. People will intentionally and unintentionally make mistakes according to their past experiences. YOU will make mistakes according to your past experiences. People will only do what they know to do. If they know to hurt people, then that’s what they do. If they harbor any negativity, it can spill onto you. You can’t hold that against them. Holding that against them only poisons YOU. We live in a ME ONLY society. Many people are in survival mode and think mainly of their own survival—emotionally, physically, financially, mentally, at other people’s expense. We can’t let their shortcomings become our own. We must understand this about them and not hold it over their heads (but keep in mind what you’re dealing with).
Let me give you an example. Let’s say there is a beautifully crafted tea cup that represents your life. You have poured all the water out of it into a garden. The garden starts to grow beautiful, fragrant flowers. Now you need to refill your cup with more water. But before you have a chance to refill it, a bird comes and poops in your cup. You become angry and frustrated and refuse to empty your cup. More birds come and poop in your cup. It continues. You never dump the poop, clean out the cup, and add water. Now, your cup “runneth over” alright! Your prize flowers are dying and your cup becomes quite nasty. At some point, you have to clean out the cup, put fresh water in, and water the flowers, or else the flowers will start to die and the cup will crack.
This example is what happens when we don’t forgive. When you are feeling fine, you are able to bless those around you (the garden). You, yourself, are blessed and your cup may runneth over. But when you do not nourish your spirit (put water in your cup), you become empty and are susceptible to being hurt and offended and carrying this pain indefinitely. Don’t hold on to the offense. Don’t hold on to the pain, the rage, any vengeful feelings (bird poop). Release it, pray it out (wash your cup), and feed your spirit/life (put fresh water in your cup) so that you are able to nurture the ones around you, thereby being a blessing to others (doing God’s work). Carrying bird poop around in your cup hurts you worse, but it also hurts others that are waiting for your blessing, and nine times out of ten, it’s not the person that hurt you. Don’t let them block your blessings!
You are bigger than that! Whomever you need to forgive, forgive them! Stop hurting YOURSELF by carrying that bird poop around in your cup! Others are waiting to be blessed by you and if you are walking in unforgiveness right now, YOU are standing in the way of someone else’s blessing! And how can God bless you when you have bird poop in your cup? My sista, He will only bless you with a clean cup. Now, go clean out your cup, receive your blessing, and then go be a blessing to others.
(And my the way, if YOU are the person you need to forgive, then chalk whatever happened up as a lesson learned, vow to be different, do different, be better, grow, and move on! If you have repented, God has forgiven you so it’s time for you to forgive yourself! Put some time and space between whatever it was and get to growin’!)
Today’s Affirmation: “I’m cleaning the bird poop out of my cup!”