Wait? Oh heck naw! I had never been good at waiting. And from my conversations with different sistas, I have learned that I am not alone. The main thing that many women seem to be waiting for is a man. I guess that was me in my late 20s and in my 30s, but after having kids and being divorced, waiting on a man is not something I am currently doing.
It’s been over a year since I last wrote. Sometimes you have to just be still and let God work with you…and He has indeed been working with me. This is my truth…my journey….
In late summer 2015, my divorce became final. It became final, and I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do next. What I DID know, was that I needed to honor myself by listening to myself, and learning what I truly wanted and needed. I knew that I could only learn this without distraction, which meant that I would make the conscious decision NOT to date. My not “dating” was not because I was scared of relationships or because I all of a sudden hated men, it was because I realized that whenever I really accomplished anything in my life (with the important exception of having my daughters), it was as a single woman. So, in order to gain the utmost clarity in my life, I would have to go it alone. [Read more…]
I was lying in bed this morning, going through Bible Plans on my phone, and stumbled upon the Serenity Plan. I’ve always liked that word…serenity. So my interest was piqued and I started reading ahead and got to day 4. Day 4 encourages self-reflection and self-inventory. It encourages you to be painfully honest with yourself about yourself; it encourages you to admit what has hurt you deeply and also to admit what you did to hurt others so that you can eventually get to a place of healing and restoration. [Read more…]
Have you ever felt stuck in your life? At different times I’ve felt stuck in my life: stuck in my house, stuck with my car, stuck in my career, stuck in my job (those are two different things)…just stuck. I complained to my family, my friends, and to God, mostly to God. I wanted to be delivered from whatever situation or place I was in. But, although at times I didn’t feel quite so stuck, I will say that I wasn’t exactly delivered either. Nothing changed drastically…until recently.
I was recently studying purpose, promotion, and prosperity in the Bible when I came across this verse: “They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.” Psalm 1:3 NLT It reminded me of what I’ve read many times throughout the years in different books, books like one by Dani Johnson where she coined the phrase “prosper where you are planted” (First Steps to Wealth, pg. 107). And finally, this message, this lesson, sank in a little deeper and began to take root. I began to really understand about doing well where you are with what you have.
After I read this in the Bible, I read other scripture that supported this one. Then I began to pray. I prayed that God would give me a strong desire for “where I was planted” (the field of speech language pathology) and I also prayed that He would then give me a vision for it. God honored my request. I began to gravitate toward others in my profession and began immersing myself more in my field. Areas that I had lost interest in had become of interest to me again. I began making plans to educate myself and grow in my field. I was excited again. I had always liked different areas of my work, but the passion for most of it had been long gone. God began restoring this in me.
So, if you’re feeling stuck, consider this: feeling stuck is often a result of not growing, contributing, or making a decision in the area you feel stuck in.
If you are where you are, and can’t seem to get out, maybe you are there for a reason. Maybe God wants you to grow, contribute, or make a decision right where you are. Here’s what I recommend:
- Pray for the desire to prosper where you are. Then pray for a vision of where you are supposed to grow to.
- Stop complaining. Complaining puts the focus on what you’re complaining about. Instead, begin talking and dreaming about the vision God is giving you. (But be careful who you talk to.) Your change in where you are will start on the inside of you first, long before you will see it on the outside. Learn to silence the negative so the positive can grow.
- Begin to surround yourself with people who are where you are BUT are positive and progressive in their thinking and their actions. This will give you a great support system and help you to appreciate where you are now, while growing to where you will be. You may find these people in your class, on your job, at your church or other organizations, or even online.
- Take care of what you have. If you feel stuck in your apartment, take good care of your apartment until you get your house. If you feel stuck in your body (overweight, etc.), take good care of your body until you are healthier; in fact, this is the way to get healthier. If you feel stuck on your job, take good care of yourself on your job as well as the people you work with. Being a good steward of what you have will enhance your ability to grow from where you are and experience a better quality of life.
- Learn how to do what you do, better. When you stop learning you stop growing and when you stop growing, you begin to feel stuck, because you’re not going anywhere. Take a new class or course, attend a seminar, get on a conference call. Do something to better educate yourself.
- Contribute where you are. Everyone has something to offer and if you feel that you don’t, do number 5 until you do. Contribute your time, your experience, your expertise. Let someone benefit from your gifts and talents. Teach someone something or become a good listener and moral supporter.
- Remember, nothing goes to waste, not even this time in your life. Pay attention to where God is leading you, then follow His lead. He answers prayers, you just need to listen.
So whether you feel stuck in your job, your body, your marriage, or whatever, know that you can grow and make progress, make a difference right where you are. And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, this was part of His plan all along.
Here’s some more scripture that may help:
“Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.” Proverbs 24:27 NLT
“But I have spared you for a purpose–to show you my power and to spread my fame throughout the earth.” Exodus 9:16 NLT
“Don’t neglect the gift which you received through prophecy when the spiritual leaders placed their hands on you [to ordain you]. Practice these things. Devote your life to them so that everyone can see your progress. Focus on your life and your teaching. Continue to do what I’ve told you. If you do this, you will save yourself and those who hear you.” 1 Timothy 4:14-16 GW
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.” 1 Peter 5:10 AMP
“Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as though you were working for your real master and not merely for humans.” Colossians 3:23 GW
“I know how to live in poverty or prosperity. No matter what the situation, I’ve learned the secret of how to live when I’m full or when I’m hungry, when I have too much or when I have too little. I can do everything though Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13
“Then Jesus said, to them, ‘When I sent you out without a wallet, traveling bag, or sandals, you didn’t lack anything, did you?’ ‘Not a thing!’ they answered.” Luke 22:35 GW
“…Every person must make his own decision.” Romans 14:5 GW
Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t even see straight? Or so sick you couldn’t think about getting well? Or so upset and crying everywhere, eyes bloodshot and slobber all over the place? Or so heartbroken that you can’t even eat, sleep, work, or get out of bed? Those are the times most often when people will say, “Girl, just pray about it.” And that’s great advice, but you CAN’T just pray about it.
It’s not that simple. I know…I visited that place way too many times. Pray? I couldn’t even think straight. I’ve noticed three things about myself when I can’t even pray: 1) I’m all “in my feelings,” 2) I’m so incredibly focused on the problem, and 3) my body starts acting up: either I have aches and pains, or I gain or lose weight.