How many times have we said things like, “I’m NEVER going to let anyone hurt me again!” Or, “I’m NEVER going to fall in love again!” Or, “I’m not going to EVER let anyone get that close to me again!” And how about, “No one gets to EVER use me again!” Oh, and let’s not forget this one: “…I PROMISE you that!” This may be how we feel at the time; we’re speaking out from the pain of being so brokenhearted. But with these statements comes problems. How?
BECAUSE THESE STATEMENTS, FELT SO DEEPLY, ARE ACTUALLY VOWS (yes, vows) THAT WE ARE MAKING THAT CLOSE US OFF FROM THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING WHAT IT IS THAT WE REALLY WANT.
When we make these vows, it’s like closing doors on what we want. You see, in order to have the love you want, or the success you want, you have to have certain doors open to the opportunity of having it.
You may have been hurt, you may have been disappointed after being in love, you may have been used, mistreated, lied to, taken advantage of, devalued, and unloved, and yet, in order to have what you want, you have to be willing to risk it all over again…but next time, be wiser about it.
That’s not to say that your getting hurt was your FAULT. No, let’s just instead entertain the possibility that perhaps you left the door open to certain BEHAVIORS and ACTIONS that the door should have been closed on. Maybe you ignored certain signs, definite urgings of the Spirit telling you that something wasn’t right. Maybe you knew all along, but made the decision to stay longer than you knew you should have out of FEAR of being alone. Or maybe you just wanted to delay the pain. In any case, certain things were permitted that should not have been.
So, instead of closing the door on love, keep the door open to giving and receiving love from someone WORTHY. Instead of closing the door on letting anyone get close to you, keep the door open to having friends who show you that they are worthy of your friendship. LEARN to be more selective and more discerning. Be willing to WAIT for what you want and keep the door open for THAT instead of being impatient, and out of frustration and pain, closing the door on all possibility–both good and bad. What you want is out there, but you’ve got to prepare for it, and it’s got to fight through all the chaos to get to you. And when it does find to you, don’t miss out by letting it walk up on a closed door, or it might just pass you by.
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