The ways of the world are very influential on women, even Christian women. We are constantly inundated with worldly notions of what’s glamorous, right, and stylish. We see it on tv, in the lives of our friends and family, read about it in books and magazines, and may even have some mentors, teachers, or counselors recommend cohabitation. We then rationalize these worldly ways and come to the conclusion that these ways make sense based on how we FEEL and these sinful decisions are reinforced by a sin-filled world. However, that’s fine for those who choose to follow the world. But, God is calling His people to live righteously, and cohabitating is NOT for His people.
Let’s read the following scriptures:
3 “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor–not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, 7-8 (NLT)
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 (NLT)
11 “Dear friends, since you are foreigners and temporary residents [in the world], I’m encouraging you to keep away from the desires of your corrupt nature. These desires constantly attack you. 12 Live decent lives among unbelievers. Then, although they ridicule you as if you were doing wrong while they are watching you do good things, they will praise God on the day he comes to help you.” 1 Peter 2:11-12 (GWT)
30 “Even young people grow tired and become weary, and young men will stumble and fall, 31 Yet, the strength of those who wait with hope in the Lord will be renewed. They will soar on wings like eagles, They will run and won’t become weary. They will walk and won’t grow tired.” Isaiah 40:30-31 (GWT)
And these are just a few.
The Holy Bible notes specifically about parental relationships, sibling relationships, friendships, and even marital relationships, but certainly not cohabitating relationships. If you live with someone that you are not related to and have no romantic relationship with, then you have a roommate. There’s no sex, and therefore, no sexual sin. If you live with someone that you are having sex with, then either you are married, and therefore are not sinning, or you are cohabitating, and are therefore sinning. Plain and simple.
Cohabitating just makes having sex more temporally, spatially, and financially convenient.
Think about that. COHABITATION MAKES HAVING SEX MORE TEMPORALLY, SPATIALLY, AND FINANCIALLY CONVENIENT. We’re making it easier to sinfully give our bodies to someone who has a crunch for time, may not want to drive the extra 10 miles, and is not gonna fork over extra dough just so that they can “have it their way.” REALLY?
Then what to we do? For an added couple of “I love yous” we dress it up, put curtains on it, and call it “home.” Wow. God’s standards for us are much, much higher. Who are we to lower them? Then we want God to bless the relationship. NOT.
Here’s what I know about blessings: when we want God to bless something, we need to be living within the will of God in order to expect to be blessed in that particular area of our lives. For example, if we want to be blessed with the house that God would have us to have, we cannot make a habit of willfully sinning in the place where we reside now. If we want God to bless our relationship, we can’t willfully sin in the relationship we’re in now. In a nutshell, God is merciful, and His grace is sufficient, but He does not bless sin.
When we willfully sin, we’re telling God, “I’ve got this.” And then He often let’s us “have it,” too. That’s how it is. You reap what you sow. Then imagine if there are children involved. The Holy Bible notes, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 So, not only do we cohabitate, but we teach our children to cohabitate? The Bible also says, “Only be careful that this power of choice (this permission and liberty to do as you please) which is yours, does not [somehow] become a hindrance (cause of stumbling) to the weak or overscrupulous [giving them an impulse to sin].” 1 Corinthians 8:9 (AMP) We are to be examples for our children, examples of righteous living to the best of our abilities. We should not be living examples of how to sin. Many times, as you know, our children learn more by what we DO than by what we SAY. So even if you have decided that cohabitating is fine for YOU, most parents want better for their children and I’m sure YOU do too. If you are cohabitating, consider reversing this living situation for the sake of your children’s future. (Many times, our children reap what WE sow. We must be careful of what WE plant in THEIR lives.)
“But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” John 11:10 (NLT) Maybe you didn’t know that cohabitating was outside the will of God for your life. Maybe in this way you were in darkness. After reading this, I hope it has shed a little light on the world’s pitiful substitute (cohabitation) for marriage. I urge you not to settle. If cohabitating is the situation you are in, I encourage you, as a Christian woman, to seek God’s direction on how to get on the right path as soon as possible. Ask for His clarification, His blessing, and the living situation that He would have you in. Then, as He leads, follow.
With Peace & Love,
Read more about virtuous living in my book: Grown & Virtuous: 28 Simple Lessons To Unveil the Spiritual Diva In You. And, if you liked this post, read 6 Not So Innocent Forms of Cheating.