Have you ever spoken with someone who can pick people apart, name all of their flaws one by one, and fail to sufficiently address their own flaws? Now, I certainly don’t want anyone beating themselves up over their own shortcomings, and at the same time I don’t want anyone beating anyone else up either.
You see, tearing people apart limb by limb does nothing to help them and it does nothing to help you. In fact, what it does for them is spew more negative energy their way and what it does to you is make you look bad, unhappy, and judgmental. It really shows where your heart is.
Okay, maybe that sista should not have worn that spandex. And maybe you could not help mentioning that fact. But to go on and on about it is downright cruel and malicious. See, what I have learned is that people do what they have practiced seeing and doing (and sometime folks just don’t know any better or care because of very low self-esteem). So, if this sista is around many people who wear spandex, and she can get spandex for $5 which fits into her limited budget, it’s comfortable, and she doesn’t have any other ideas of what to buy or wear, then guess what? That sista is in some spandex and may even owns a few colors. Maybe she was a size 6 when she started wearing it and after birthing five children she is quite a few sizes larger, but hasn’t stopped to take the time for a full self-assessment. Or, maybe she wants to be sexy and she falsely believes that all sexy women wear spandex so she therefore must wear spandex in order to be sexy. And you ask, “Is she blind?” Okay, now that’s being judgmental. Time for a pulse check. “A pulse check?” you ask? Yes, a pulse check. Let’s make sure you have a heart and make sure it’s still beating.
Now, let’s talk about what is it about you (and what’s going on in your heart) that makes you want to talk critically about other people. What is it about you that you are unhappy with? What is it about your life that you are unhappy with? What are you scared of? Is it your insecurities about your size, education, attractiveness, income, job, marital status, social status, home, car, baby daddies, relationships with your parents? Are you scared that you aren’t small enough or big enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, have enough of whatever to get and keep what and who you want? Are you scared that you just aren’t good enough? Are you scared that you just aren’t enough, period?
Well, guess what? YOU ARE. God created you and by virtue of being His creation, He assigned you your own level of worth according to what you mean to Him, which is a lot. After all, Jesus DIED for you, so you must be worth a whole heck of a lot! And since you mean a lot to Him, you are EACH DEFINITELY ENOUGH. “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14. But me telling you isn’t enough. You’ve got to read it, feel it, and believe it for yourself.
How? Meditate on God. Meditate on who He created you to be. Spend time getting to know God and yourself. Put your energy into building this relationship. Let Him heal you and build you from the inside out. Become more conscious of what you think about and train yourself to think positive thoughts about yourself and others. Become more conscious of what you say. Develop compassion for other people. Talk to a few of the people that you talk about; this may make you more sensitive to these people and people in general. Give to the people you speak poorly about; help them instead of hurting them. Giving something as simple as a compliment can brighten someone’s day and give them a slightly more cheerful outlook on their day. Practice having a more positive outlook. For example, when you catch yourself passing judgment on someone or “talking about them like a dog,” stop yourself and think about something positive you can say, or just quit talking. The closer you are to God, the more of a conviction you will suffer, that is, the closer you are to God, the stronger you will feel Him telling you that you are out of line. Being convicted in this way is a good thing because it corrects you and gives you an opportunity to heal and to grow. Embrace it, for it will ultimately heal and develop your heart.
Next, spend time on the areas of your life you have identified to be your shortcomings. Now, actually DO something about your shortcomings. If you’re actively busy improving yourself, you won’t have time to sit around and talk about anyone else. In short, get the tree out of your own eye before you reach to get the splinter out of someone else’s! (Okay, so I paraphrased this scripture. For the actual scripture, go to Matthew 7:3-5.)
Pass this message on to someone who may need it. Uplift someone today. Be the sunshine on someone’s stormy day. Speak blessings and blessings will come to you. I invite you to leave a comment and share your thoughts, experiences, and insights.