Many times we put sooooo much into our relationship, marriage and don’t feel that we are getting the same thing back. Many times we endow them men with certain privileges, that they don’t even really demonstrate that they want or deserve. So, what does the Bible say? Well, married folks are to love, honor, and care for each other. Married folks are not to withhold sex unless agreed upon for a time. Married folks are supposed to be faithful to each other in every way. So, if you are a Christian wife and are unevenly yoked with a husband who treats you like you are only a friend (for example, he doesn’t consistently wear his wedding band, most of his phone calls are private, quality time is sporadic, there’s little to no affection, “I love you”s are few and far between, etc.), then you decide for yourself how far you want to downgrade your treatment of him. I’m not going to tell you that it’s your duty as a wife to still have sex with him and he’s cheating. I’m not going to tell you that you should still cook for him when he habitually comes home at 3 o’clock in the morning with no explanation. What I AM saying is honor God and yourself and it’s okay to back off and back it up a bit. God’s intention is NOT for us to be used or abused. Let’s get it together. [Read more…]
Okay, ladies, we are too old to still be falling for the okey doke. Which okey doke? The one when you fall for what someone says, which is completely contrary to what they do. Specifically, when your man whispers in your ear, “Baby, you know I love you.” Then he cusses you out when you ask him about a woman’s phone number in his pocket when he was supposed to be at his momma’s house. Cognitively, we KNOW this is not love–to be lied to and cheated on. But because he said THOSE words–“I love you”–we are willing to tolerate just about anything because of how THOSE words made us FEEL. Our heart tells us he loves us, but his actions are screaming that he doesn’t. [Read more…]
I was watching a movie this past weekend, “BIG MOMMA: Like Father, Like Son,” and in this movie there is a scene where a girl gets a text from her boyfriend that says, “need space.” She immediately explodes into tears and her friends try to comfort her by telling her that that’s not what he really meant; they proceeded to read all kinds of emotional stuff into what he said to let her know that he’s just confused or going through some stuff right now. She immediately felt better, but then the “Like Son” character basically says, “Are you kidding me? He said, ‘need space,’ so he needs space!” And, again, the girl became upset.
How many times, ladies, do men show us something, then confirm it with their mouths, and we STILL want to interpret it as meaning something else in our favor? We are bad about this. Yes, I said “we.” There have been a few times in my life where I ignored what I saw, and instead believed what I wanted to believe. I wasted a lot of time and experienced a lot of long term heartache because of it. And so I have learned. There is a secret formula to deciphering this madness. The secret formula is this: [Read more…]